Stress I've exposed every rut In my mind and gut Just by solitude's plough And a sharp furrowed brow Now I turn my bright gaze On my heart's wayward ways For she can't thrive on less And on trouble and toil Excavated by Stress Lies depleted my soul's soil And what false fruit it bore I will toil no more At the little death waiting Past validation's trick door Plum Creek I sit here at a different spot on the creek Than that day When we spoke to each other of despair And let the water wash away our words. This time, alone in the company of smoke, The trickle tells the same story, Whispers the same wisdom. Orange I wish i could Peel the orange of my mind To let the world know Its citrus mist And leave these narrow peels Somewhere to rot And grow again into fruit Sorry All I can say is I'm sorry All I can do is be in your debt Under bright speckled skies starry And through these grey days wet Clover Kiss me gently, Kiss me slow. Whatever you need babe Let me know. It doesn't have to be grand But it could be It doesn't have to be deep But who knows? Whatever's in the way I'll find my way through I'm a climber babe On my way to you If you dig it let it show and If you don't Just let me know If what you seek Is not a lover Then how about A four leaf clover? Focus Synaptic bramble path Flows like an undersea current Resigned to efficiency’s math No hermetic force can stir it It is good at what it does It is lost on care and love Back It’s rarely about my transness It’s about my privilege And the weakness with which I fervently cling to it That’s the center of the knot. So put your back Back into caring Landscape I’ve climbed every peak With blistered hands To be bitten by bitter winds I’ve descended every ravine To drown in deep waters And it’s not worth it anymore I yearn for even plains Lowlands so mild And smiles in Spring Nothing to prove To give Drift here or there Eat, drink, refill To have it squeezed out again Hollow empty shell Husk at dusk Settle like a leaf on water Birch And when Will the tired old birch Lay herself to rest Let the cracked bark Sink into soil And become earth again? Moon The moon pulls on you Wether or not you know It shines on you Some of the places you go Blue My heart is As cold and blue As the high February Sky Some days Some days the unease In the air tastes like salt Humid and heavy on the back Of my throat Other days It melts away Chased by rain and sun to other horizons Most days I don't even notice Most days The petty wars Claim my attention I need I need a snack and a fuck and a read and a rest But all I can do is give it my best Now I really know Now I really know I can find my way through This nice labrythn made For kind heathens blue Having walked its halls Having hawked its walls Now I really know That I have needs too Now I really know Every puzzle they impart Feeds their own understanding Not my own fresh start So fuck what they think Small wizards big towers Who think they need daily To take three or four showers And do whatever else The New Yorker tells them And buy whatever else The academy sells them Now I really know That I'm bored and I'm tired That it's time to get out And start some fresh fire TW Vom It was purple From the wine A river like gravy Pouring from her mouth All I could do was pause And watch Before setting down my wooden dance partner And my bow Spring Green aches forth From still, quiet dark Mineral blood turns to paper light Through cramped fingers It is warm but This spring is yet false Green will emerge But has not How I dread it How it excites me The aching green All I can hope Is that this is not the last Love Hate me hate me If you must Soon we’ll all be Ash and dust Denial No amount of hard work Can make what I did okay And no amount of self cruelty Can make it go away Denial is a river Go lassie go Depression When you find yourself on the riverbed Even if it takes a million years You will get back up By then you might be stardust But that’s way better than giving up Little Marin Ray Shine bright on me Grace this ohio day Lean When I get that Far off look in my eye, Just know You need only ask Of lifetimes past And faces hear forgotten, Memories of a dead man. The weight of him Leans behind my eyes, peering at me from beyond the grave. He’s not here anymore I buried him in bedrock. Mope I sit here and mope Having not learned to cope With lessons hard learned And desires stubborn yearned ‘It’s too bad’ I say That I’m feeling this way So I skip out on class And try to feel less sorry For myself. I could take on much less Or have more trans sex But instead I just mope Having not learned to cope. Fare Forward In a storm of “could” I wish for “should” A ledge off of which to jump The road is muddy The way unclear It arrives every moment And each moment writes it The ledge I seek Is all around In every choice In every sound To jump is to live For that other danger Of which Elliot spoke Not the danger of being judged But the danger dying Having let it all Pass me by. The lessons are hard But well worth learning FARE FORWARD And make a fool of yourself Anything Anything you took I would have given Tenfold Without question Had you asked Hungry An empress, I tried to Eat the sun My mother Here from The ash I Swirl Back into A girl Strong And gentle and no longer So fiercely alone. Anxiety Buckets of Paint spilled Across a Knife lodged In my Innards. Mucus Membrane I lost my train Of mucus membrane Mucus memory brain Silicon slime train Dragon thrice slain Or was it twice Mucus dragon memory brain Green pig with wings My steadfast bedfellow You’ve been with me Through it all! Gentle Gentle of heart I’m still a kid Not gonna Bend over backwards To hide it from you Cuz if I did You would too And it all ends there Daughter I am a daughter of steel, Inheritress of oil blood. Knelt at the foot of the world, I hope I can find the wisdom To learn my lesson; And the strength to put it to good use.
⛤ ❤ 🌀